What made you marry your man?

[Rosikat]

Hi everybody, I haven't been opening a thread in here for awhile... so here i go. "What made you marry your man?"

I have this question in my mind for quite awhile now... I never thought of marrying my bf or not if he asks me. My story is like this. One day he was chatting with my friend, and he kind of told her that he will probably marry me in two or three years. When I heard the news from my friend, I was really happy but the question emerged. Have I been loving this man so much that I would marry him? I have no answer for myself. Now, tonight, we had a fight over many many things. Those things are supposed to be very little stuffs, but you know, little things add up and become big. I'm not going to type up all the details, but I feel like to stop seeing him for some time and see how much I will miss him. However, I'm not so sure if this is the right thing to do. I don't want to give up a relationship because of those tiny little things. First, he complainted about how I'm not being supportive toward his activities. Second, how I've never done any significant things for him (like when I refused to go somewhere to pickup something for him in late night after work. **** he never thought I would have lots to do after I got home from work late at night. I took a shower at 9 something, then had my dinner; by 10pm I let my chinnies out and clean their cages. When i'm done with them it is already 11pm. How much time do I have left for myself?) He thinks that I never would seriously apologizes for anything or for anything that I did wrong, and I never admit that I did it wrong. I don't think it was wrong to refuse to go somewhere late at night after work.

Sometimes I thought is that because I don't love him that much so that I won't show much of support to his activities or is that the love is not enough to make me do what he asks me to do? If i love him enough, would I still go there that late at night with an empty stomach that has already lasted 8 hours long?

He doesn't complain to me all the time, in contrast, I have complaints almost everyday (sometimes those are real complaints sometimes not). I guess he hates that because he would never know when it is real and when it's not. I know I can't expect him to read my mind, but we've been together for almost 4 years now, shouldn't he be able to read my mind SOMETIMES?

I'm curious about what made you ladies marry your man, how did you know you love him enough that it would lasts a lifetime? How did you know you wouldn't regret it?

Anyway... any reply is appreciated. Thanks for reading...

[foxbite2]

Relationships are never easy.. it's always give and take.. compromising. I married my ex.. because I thought it would last forever... When our eyes met across a crowded room.. my heart would skip a beat... even after almost 10 years.. I still would catch my breath when I saw him across a crowded room.. we had a bond.. but then everything went down hill.. it's just a chance you have to take.. but if you have to ask yourself if you should marry him... I'd have to say NO... it's hard to get rid of them, once you're actually married.. if it's right.. you just know it.

[oneillrk]

Marriage is work, no matter what anyone tells you, you need to think about if this person is someone you can "work with" ..... when I met my husband, it was not love at first sight.... well for him it was.... but I was not at a place in my life where I was falling for anything...... he wooed me and I fell in love with him. Our life was very rocky for years, he had 2 children from his first marriage and there were custody battles, etc... which ended up that we got custody of his daughters... there were times when I thought it was too much..... how can I take anymore.... but "together" we made it. This year he had a stroke and our marriage was very rocky up until that happened..... it was that instant that I realized (again) that we are a team and "together" we can make it. Oh yea, he makes me mad, very mad, but I am no peach to live with either.... but COMPROMISE, respect, love, friendship are the keys to any marriage...... the butterflies go away..... at least for me... but I love him, always will..... you have to be friends.....

[ChinObsessed]

I am not married yet, we are getting married next year. For me though it was weird. I went to high school with my boyfriend now, we were the best of friends. I had a boyfriend but I new that he liked me. He always told his friends that I was the girl he was going to marry, and I thought he was nuts...lol. He never told me how he felt in high school, and I continued dating the other guy. We were friends out of high school aswell, then we drifted apart. Four years ago I was sitting at an intersection when I heard a guy yell my name. I looked to my right and there he was in his truck with the biggest smile on his face.

He asked me to meet him later that day just to catch up on things. We talked till the wee hours of the morning, I had to work in the morning so I had to go, he hugged me and said he missed our friendship so much. I gave him my number. We hung out almost everyday, like we hadn't missed the years that went by.

Don't get me wrong we have had our fights over trivial things but in the end we apologize. The feeling is unexplainable to really know he is the one you want. He was my friend first and still is. When he calls I get excited, when I see him pull in the driveway I get giddy. He would do anything for me and I would do the same for him. When he is away I miss him terribly. When he says I Love You he means it. He's kind and caring and I think myself lucky to have found a man like that. He loves my son aswell which is huge for me.

For me I cound't picture myself with anyone else. I don't look at other men and wonder. I just feel it's right. I'll stop rambling now...lol

[charlieanddusty]

Hmm.. I like this question.

How did I know?
-He's a family man. I've come from the most ridiculous and divided family in the history of the universe, and he'll stop everything for those that he considers family (including me).
-He's selfless. He wants to make sure those around him are taken care of before himself.
-He is excited about the wedding; genuinely.
-He wants to do our first dance to "Video Killed the Radio Star" so we can dance around like fools (since neither of us have any rhythm).
-He has the most hilarious, random sense of humor.
-He knows how to make me laugh when I'm down.
-He makes me surprise dinners and always buys new flowers to put as the centerpiece on our table when he does it.
-At those dinners, he fills up wine glasses with grape juice, ginger ale, or sparkling cider to look like wine (no, we aren't 21 yet...)
-He always wants to cuddle.

I think about other guys, sure. And then I think, "Misty, are you nuts? You've got the best guy in the world standing right next to you." I could never begin to imagine being with anyone else. He is my saving grace.

[wyvernrider18]

Every relationship has its flaws. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship and I doubt there are very many people in the world who do not fight with their significant others over little things. It just happens. But you get over things and life goes on and you take it in stride. I'm just licky to have a guy who is willing to put up with my animal collection. lol.

[jamielynn0722]

2 kids and 5 years together and a family that would not LEAVE us along about getting married. I DID NOT want to get married. I saw my aprents go through 7 years of **** to get a divorce.. If I ever got divorced I would NEVER EVER IN A MILLION years get married again...

[cookiesandchips]

First of all, he was the most gorgeous man I ever set eyes on. He was a big hulking body builder and drove a red porsche....the kids in our small city thought he was a professional wrestler and asked for his autograph.....well that is what attracted me to him, but what made me know I wanted to marry him is:
After knowing him for three months I got cancer, and he helped me through this, cleaning me up..blood and gore after surgery..when I could not summon a nurse. He never once made me feel embarrassed.
The way he respects and helps my mother.
The way he makes me have butterflies in my tummy for no reason.
The way he greets me at the door, and tells me I look beautiful even if I have no makeup on and haven't had a shower.
We lived together for eight years, and then we decided that we wanted to have a family.........so we had a beautiful daughter in the ninth year.
So, what was a clincher....what REALLY made me want to marry this man was watching what a wonderful father he was....and IS.
We decided to make it "legal" for our daughter's sake.....for us all to have the same last name.
Now, almost 17 years later, what makes me GLAD that I married him, is the fact that, although he does not buy me roses.........he sees my mom in the hospital without being asked, makes her home cooked meals, brings our little girl to see her just to see my mom's eyes light up.....(and he absolutely hates hospitals).......he regularly sees her a few times a week, props her pillows.....and just listens to her. Now that my mom is failing, and I don't know how much time we have left.....I love him, for the way he holds me, and gives me strength and support, when I cry.
He has my respect and love......forever.

[bubbles]

Kevin and I are getting married this December. We got engaged after only 6 months of "official" dating(long story) but it's taken us almost three years to get married! Mostly because shortly after we got engaged I found out I was pregnant and I didnt want to get married preggers because that's what my mom and dad did(they didnt end well) so I was parionod about it. Then the first year after our son was born was crazy and our first wedding date flew by without us even booking a place. So we had to set another date! So it only seems approriate to get married considering the fact we are already a family. But the thing that made me say yes way back before all this was the simple fact that it just seemed right. I'm completely comfortable with him but we are still passionate about each other. We get along very well but when we dont we work with each other till we resolve it. We both have similar views on where our lives and marriage is going. Blah I'm totally rambling now. I'm not in your shoes so I cant tell you if it's right or not but I'm a little nervous for you cause you guys have been together so long and you still arent sure. But then again some people are never sure until it actually happens so...yeah. good luck

[LoriL]

We had a difficult courtship (for lack of a better word). He came from a very close family, I didn't know the meaning of the word. He's stubborn, I'm stubborn. My sister's boyfriends would show up with guns while she was taking refuge with me....you know little things like that. :)

We have very little in common. We are exact opposites-honestly. We each took a personality test and it showed we were exact opposites. :laugh: I'm extremely high-strung, he's very laid back. But the one thing that I always enjoyed about him was he could make me laugh. Does he act like a 2-year-old sometimes? Sure. Selfish sometimes? Sure. And I'm sure he feels the same way about me too.

But my day wouldn't be complete without talking to him. I NEED to at least talk to him.

That was something that was asked during our marriage classes before we got married. "How do you know you love each other?" Hard question. My answer was because my day wasn't complete until I could at least talk to him and ask him how his day was and tell him about my day. Now of course, we talk about the kids, other decisions we may have to make, etc. But we talk everyday.

We've been married for 14 1/2 years now.

I don't know if that answers your question or not. I did ask myself during our engagement if I should really marry this guy or not, but like I said, we are exact opposites. It has worked well for us though.