How to deal with death?

[chrismak]

Happily Mookie is a trooper and is alive and well, however, his recent loss of an eye made me sit and think about the horrid shape I will be in when he passes away. As he is 3 years old, I hear he may or may not live much longer.

YES this is creepy and nobody likes to talk about it or think about it.. But I want to be prepared and not be so crushed, as I believe mook will go to hog heaven. But how have people here delt with the loss of their friend.

You know this eye thing just had me so sad, made me wonder if I could handle him leaving me.

Anyone?

[Dusty's Place]

Well I really don't have any good advice for you sorry your Hedgie isn't feeling his best.

[Vincent]

My family recently lost our dog. She'd been living with us for a very long time, and we all miss her, but once you have a good cry about it, you realize that perhaps it's for the best. Nothing lives forever, and it was just her time to go. We'll see her again someday. :)

3 years may or may not be a long time. With the right diet and exercise (and providing that they don't have any genetic illnesses), hedgehogs can last a good while.

Don't worry so much about the loss of Mookie's eye. I think you're more upset about it than he is! He must know he's loved, though, and from what I hear from other people on this forum, having one eye doesn't slow down most hedgies. ;)

[Pringlesmom]

Mookie seems like a little trooper! Death is always hard..whether you ahve your pet pass away or have to make a decison to put them down. I had to experience both within a year of each other. I was in denial with Pringle and would force myself to think he wasn't sick. We think he developed WHS and 2 months later he was completely paralyzed and gave me "that look." You just know. They tell you when they want to go. Scoops, as I'm sure everyone on here is tired of me saying his story over and over again, was only a year and a month old when he developed sudden, acute kidney failure. He passed away while in the hospital. Both deaths were VERY hard, but after the shock and the sadness start to fade, whenever you think of them, you tend to always think of the good times and reasons why things happened the way they did. I find that if I don't talk about them, even though they are gone, that I am doing an injustice to how much they were a part of my life. I am a first grade teacher and I have a whole hedgehog windowsill with a framed picture of Pringle and Scoops and all of my hedgehog story book around them. You will see signs that they are with you that will make you stop and smile and things aren't so bad anymore. I believe in all of the "signs" that people say they experience after losing a loved one and I know it is true for pets as well b\c I've lived through them. Right away you will feel like you never want another one to go through it all over again, but then when your heart heals and comes to terms with what has happened, you will want to provide the best life possible, no matter how short, for another understanding that, hedgehogs especially, are likely to come down with some horrible diseases. This is the stage I am at right now and I lost Scoops at the end of August. And last but not least, sorry this is long, if you stay connected, read the threads, and post on this forum even after something happens, it will make you feel like you are still helping out other and other hedgies like I am trying to do now. You become connected to them like they are your own and cry when you read about one of them passing. It has really helped me to put everything into terms and become strong enough to want another. The people on here are great, as you probably know and will understand things that people who only have dogs and fish won't understand b\c I feel that hedgies are a very special and private animal that only us strong enough and capable enough are blessed with the opportunity to provide love and safety. I hope I helped and didn't depress you even more. Stay strong, take a lot of pictures (especially a close up of your face and Mookie), and love every second with him.

[paris26]

I have gotten all my animals who have passed cremated. It sounds funny, but I feel so much better when they are back home with me. I sleep better because my "kids" are back under my roof. I also have a remembrance bowl for all of my passed pets. I bought one of those flat glass bowls that you can put floating votive candles in. I then wrote the names on flat black river rocks and placed them in the bowl. In the very center I have a candle that I light when they have passed or when other hedgies that I know have passed.

I also keep a memorial photo album that has their approximate birthdates, date of passing, a picture of the animals and a few of their quills in the case of hedgehogs.

Finally, talking about it with other hedgie people has helped a lot. My friends and family know I'm upset when I lose one, but they often times do not understand the sense of loss like other hedgie guardians

[HedgieSpirit]

When Chloe was PTS last February (she had WHS) I was more heartbroken than I have ever been, but the pain did ease over time. In early April, I found two rattie boys in need of loving homes. They filled a bit of the void Chloe had left in my heart and kept me busy, so my mind was off of the loss of my baby.

I find that if I don't talk about them, even though they are gone, that I am doing an injustice to how much they were a part of my life.

Pringlesmom, I know exactly what you mean. I still carry all of my photos of Chloe in my wallet. If she comes up in conversation, (which she fairly often does) I whip out my pictures and show off my pretty girl.

Probably the most consolling thing that I have done since Chloe's passing has been writing. I wrote my college essays about her, about the extreme impact she has had on my life and career choice. The first day of writing was terribly embarassing. We were working in senior composition and I cried the entire period (and a bit of the next). Only my teacher knew why because I was too choked up to explain to anyone else why I was so upset. As days of writing passed I only teared up a bit when writing. Putting my experiences, my pain and heartache, and unltimately my thankfulness for having had Chloe in my life into writing was the best medicine I could have asked for. I had told her story. I had done her justice. 9 college admissions offices would know what we had endured together and understand how a hedgehog had changed my life.

Of course, now as I am writing this, I am tearing up again. The pain isn't gone. I doubt it will ever completely subside. But I have found a way to go on, a way to honor her, and someday I will provide a loving home for another sweet hedgehog.

[Pringlesmom]

I have gotten all my animals who have passed cremated. It sounds funny, but I feel so much better when they are back home with me. I sleep better because my "kids" are back under my roof.

Yes. I have had both Pringle and Scoops creamated and they are in my room. I saved something special of both of them, as many quills as I could find once I knew they were very sick (You should have seen me digging in my trash the morning that Scoops had passed away), and have lot of pictures. I really like the idea of the floating candle bowl with their names on the rocks. I may do that when I have a house of my own..which could be closer that I would have thought!! Anyway, everyone deals with death their own way, but I think we all can agree that talking about our babies helps us heal. And who doesn't like a little hedgie story?

[herbiesmom]

I have thought for a few days about how best to answer this. I worked as a hospice nurse for 10 years and have helped many people deal with death and dying. In thinking about what the best answer to this is, I truly feel that the most important thing to know is that although you feel as if you could never deal with it, you can. There is no right or wrong way, everyone's grief is different and everyone deals with it a little differently. Most people do much better dealing with death if they memorialize the person or the pet in some way. I have plants in my yard that are named after patients who touched my heart in a special way. I have a jasmine named Hue (pronounced "way") after a vietnamese girl with a brain tumor, and a magnolia tree named Maggie after a gracious and brave woman. I planted a pine tree over the spot where my two guinea pigs are buried. For me, this helps me to see them going on and to feel as if something is beginning from their ending. While death is never easy, it is something we cope with and cry over and then try to make some sense out of because it is a part of our life experience.
Hope this helps some,
Peace and prayers

[hemi_mygirl]

Just don't give up... he could surprise you and live for a good long while yet. Last April, when Hemi was diagnosed with an aggressive form of bone cancer, the vet gave her until June "if she even made it that long". It's November now, and Hemi is still going strong. She walks normally with no hint of a limp, and she eats ALOT. Granted, the cancer seems to have disappeared from x-rays and that other test they do for cancer... what is it, biopsy? I can't remember. While her leg is still swollen, the vet can't find cancer in it anymore.

Just don't give up. The second you do, everything has a tendency to go downhill fast.

[Jeanette]

Oh man... I shouldn't read these so early in the day!
It gets me thinking about Spiny. I wouldn't know how to go on right now without him.

aw, ****... I have a midterm today and now I'm just going to be bawling...