Your Thanksgiving Stories

[HedgeMom]

As much as we'd all like to believe that every family Holiday is all sweetness and light and fuzzy puppies and unicorns and rainbows, we all know that's not true.

In honor of all those who think they are the ONLY disfunctional family in the world, herein lies the Thanksgiving Skeletons.

I know I'm not the only person here with them so pick a title and tell us why. Change the names to protect the innocent please.

[HedgeMom]

My best Thanksgiving EVER involved many players who are no longer with us. Not that they're dead, they just stopped speaking after Thanksgiving.

We'd only been in this house a few years and we were hosting Thanksgiving for the very first time. My house isn't large but it's three floors and the downstairs has a nice family room with a fireplace. We began inviting family. My husband's mom and dad, my parents, my two sisters with husbands and kids, my Aunt and Uncle, my cousin, her husband and kids, my daughter and her friend who wasn't having Thanksgiving as well as any OTR drivers my husband knew who couldn't make it home for Thanksgiving.

I worked full time as did my husband and at the time and I had no time off before Thanksgiving to do any cooking ahead. So it all came down to THE DAY.

We'd asked everyone to help out by bringing a little something. I'd provide the basics, Turkey, Gravy, Mashed, Sweets, etc, but desserts and appetizers could be brought. My cousin decided that shrimp scampi was mandatory for thanksgiving. I'm allergic the shellfish. Anaphillactically allergic. Oh joy.

Everything is going well when my Aunt decides my gravy is too pale. She said it was unappetizing so I should add some Kitchen Bouquet. I don't have any, I don't use it. So she used food coloring... and turned my gravy pea soup green.

Now, imagine green gravy with lumps of meat... yeah, that's attractive.

My husband decided that since we had green gravy, we needed red mashed potatoes to balance it out. yep, he made the mashed red. actually pink. It's getting better.

Now my tiny house is filled with over 20 people and several very large dogs. Two infants on the floor and six almost drunk people (someone decided that beer was the best appetizer ever).

We don't have a table large enough to seat everyone so we served buffet style. My mother had a hizzy fit over the green gravy and and pink mashed and refused to eat. My father tried to eat but Mom made him feel so bad that they ended up leaving. My Aunt got hurt feelings because of the gravy and left. My Uncle was too drunk to leave. My sister fed her dinner to the dogs, who promptly threw up and the one infant crawled through it before I could get it cleaned up. My cousin didn't keep the shrimp utensils separate from the other food and I spent the night in the emergency room. My poor husband got stuck with cleaning it all up and my daughter refused to ever have Thanksgiving at our house again.

We ate out the next couple of years.

[Karin]

:rofl: LOVE this thread..
hmm... ok, if i had to describe the family thanksgiving.. it would be other.. WWF come's close, but since there is no actual wrestling or fighting involved? couldn't go with that answer..
this is how our's always go.. (and they wonder why i stopped coming)
noone can make up there mind what they are bringing/fixing.. it take's two week's to get a menu and whose cooking what..
the morning of is pure and total chaos.. usually it is me and the father in law stuck in the kitchen the night before and morning of.. doing all the prepping, cleaning, cooking, etc...
everyone is asked to arrive no later than 11 am.. so there is time to visit, etc.. before chowing down.. it never happens..
people start showing at 12 and later.. the kids are running everywhere, screaming and getting into everything.. (parent's are oblivious)
no one is jumping in (even when asked nicely) to help set the table, finish preparing food.. everyone is enjoying there time sitting down having social time, while the two cook's are slaving away..
said cook's are starving.. they have prepped and cooked, and smelled all this delicious food for hourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsssssssssssss.. and just want to eat..
so, one of the cooks (nope, not me.. lol) sits down at the table and dish's hisself a plate..:laugh: then the fun REALLY get's fired up..
the mother in law throws down the gauntlet.. because the cook is eating before anyone else.. at this point? i am tired, cranky, hungry, and just plain ticked off..
none of you have helped with a darn thing, you sit, socialize, and take your sweet time showing up.. while we've worked to exhaustion and must wait to eat?? i don't think so..
so dinner is kinda going along smoothly.. yes, the day at this point is ruined for me.. done got in that *bad mood* and it isnt leaving anytime soon. its time for cleanup.. no one of course wants to do that either...
then its time to up and leave..
so basically? yea, i don't attend thanksgiving dinners anymore.. i cook them myself in my own place..
no worries bout whose cooking, bringing what, waiting around to eat, and nooooo noise...

[Karin]

oh thank you HM.. people get to read an amusing post before reading a bad one.. so next in line better be happy or hilarious one..;)
and HM.. omg.. i have laughed many, many times over the past few days... but you take top prize hun.. i have not laughed so hard (choked on my drink) in my life....
the gravy and matching tata's just made me lose it.. then to read you say *its getting better*? oh my...:rofl: :rofl:

[charlieanddusty]

It was hard to answer this poll. If I'm with Chris, my Thanksgiving is like the Waltons, because that's what his family is like (with the usual set of weird quirks and awkward moments). If it's me and my family... it's like Cops.

[Karin]

oh noooo you don't... get back here misty!!! you can't just say, oh if i'm with chris its the waltons.. if my family its cops.. nooooooo wayyyyyyyyyy girly.. you get back here and tell us why the waltons, and why cops...

[AnimalsR4Me]

Hm, I had to say WWF.....There are quite often arguments, and sometimes fists flying.Hm so lets go through a step by step
Nothing gets prepared before hand, but my mom gets up at 4:00 am and puts the turkey in the oven before she goes to the barn. About 9:00 am my 2 aunts wake up and start making stuff for the day. About 10:00 AM I wake up, and proceed to join and help them. About 10:30 my mom comes in from the barn, and asks my grandma, who is sitting on her butt in the living room drinking her coffee and peppermint schnapps(yep I said alcohol at 10:30 am, shes been doing this for an hour already by now) and whining because the house is so hot, to help us cook. So about 11:00 a.m. my half drunk grandma comes into the kitchen and starts to help us. All is going OK at this point, cept that my grandma is drunk, and pretty much useless and is just getting in everyones way. About 11:30 my cousins and little sister wake up, and all **** breaks loose. My cousins and I do not get along. They are smart mouthed, and as hard as I try to not get mad about anything, they push my buttons. They know what bothers me and they do it on purpose. Eventually I start screaming, and tell them to get the he** out of the kitchen before I smack them all! They leave for a little while, and then about 1:00 my mom sets out the "veggie tray" full of....olives, yep olives. That's all thats in our veggie tray because thats the only way we will still have olives left for dinner with everyone eating them. about 1:30 everyone arrives and we start eating at 2:00. It's about this time when everyone starts arguing over whos sitting where, and we start fighting. We finally sit down and start eating, and we start talking,a nd then we continue to fight. Words are thrown, etc. One year, a whole spoon full of potatos was thrown at someone.....my mom was MAD! It usually consists of everyone complaining that they don't like whatever is in front of them, or they dont think it looks "good" so they whine about it. And then everything gets started "YOU DONT LIKE ANYTHING WHY DONT YOU JUST STOP COMING!" By the time 3:30 comes rolling around, everyone is mad, sometimes theres food thrown across the table, and no one is helping to clean up. It goes back to the original 4 of us who were cooking that morning to clean up. About 4:00 my mom goes to the barn, and everyone leaves, leaving the house a complete disaster, and we don't talk to eachother until christmas. The same thing happens at christmas time.....this happens...EVERY YEAR!!! And yet my mom continues to make holiday dinners....

[Karin]

by god tami.. thats it..
you and i? we need to meet somewhere halfway between our two locations, and fix our OWN dinner..:laugh:

[Jeanette]

I think that us Canadians have Thanksgiving in October just so that there is more time in between Thanksgiving and Christmas so people have more time to forget about one fiasco and be tricked into getting together for Christmas. (Dec 24: "Well, it was two months ago... and we are all hungry... it musn't have been that bad. Dec 31: No, NEVER AGAIN!!... stupid turkey...)

[charlieanddusty]

oh noooo you don't... get back here misty!!! you can't just say, oh if i'm with chris its the waltons.. if my family its cops.. nooooooo wayyyyyyyyyy girly.. you get back here and tell us why the waltons, and why cops...


Hehehe it's so fun to say that and run away.

Chris' family is very much the traditional family, with 30 people at Thanksgiving, all around watching the game, eating delicious food.

My family on the other hand only gets together with immediate family, so for me, it's my mom, brother and sister. Well, my mom's got a *bit* of a temper, so it always turns into a shouting match.

Really, more of a domestic dispute, hahaha. If it's not that, it's my brother and sister's dad trying to come steal them on my mom's holiday.

Oh the nutty lives we lead...