Needy family Christmas "wish" list

[tiatrack]

I have a topic I'd love to get some opinions on from you CnQers!

My fiance and I decided that we are blessed in so many ways, so rather than buying each other gifts at Christmas, we would adopt a needy family. My extended family in Oregon has done this for a few years with great success. About a week ago, we were assigned our family.

Mom - 16 year old
Son - 3 years old
New baby - due in April

Yes, this is a 16 year old with baby #2 on the way. Her list for herself, and I kid you not, is as follows: Baby Phat jacket size Medium, 10k gold hoop earrings, 10k gold ring, Timberlands size 7.5, and sweat pants. The list for her 3 year old is: Timberland shoes size 11, rocawear hat, underpants size 4T, white T-shirts, socks. The baby list thankfully is very normal: bottles, bibs, blankets, onesies, etc., along with a few pricier items (bassinet, stroller, etc.)

Of course we're fine with the sweats, socks, etc. But asking for a Baby Phat jacket? Even at Burlington Coat Factory those are $100! The Timberlands for her were $60, and the ones for the 3 year old were $30. And gold hoop earrings? Does this really qualify her as needy? We're absolutely fine with buying people nice things for Christmas, but WE don't even own $100 jackets. At what point is it being greedy? What about toys for the little boy? After all, it is Christmas, and I bet he couldn't care less about having a name-brand hat, but he would like some toys.

For the record, we bought her a very nice, very warm winter coat on sale for $35 that came with a free scarf. We will not be buying she or her son Timberlands, because we cannot afford them. Technically the program only requires us to get one gift per person, but of course we'd like to do more. But with these outlandish requests, we are limited as to what we can get. What does everyone think about this?

[KrptcMschfMkr128]

I think that girl needs smacked upside the head and shown what's REALLY important in life... But that's just me.. I'm all for helping people out, but I wish more kids these days really knew what was important... It really saddens me how vain and selfish people my age are..

[Virginia]

You have to remember. She is 16 lol Dont you remember, being 16 and wanting all that cool stuff?

Im still trying to figure out how she got pregnant and had a kid at 13 :( that is just beyond sad to me :( Where are her parents? Gosh I hope they are helping her out..but then again, she obviously learned nothing from the first go around, if she is expecting again...

I say you did good.

[neekobandit]

Oh my...

I think she is milking the system, personally. She has more un-needed glamorous stuff listed for herself than she does her children who need necessary things...And she is obviously all about name brand! I definitely agree that those requests are outlandish. If I were in her situation I definitely would not be requesting all of that expensive stuff (esp. for me) and just ask for things my children need...and just be thankful that there are people out there willing to help! And I still can't get over...a baby at 13 and another on the way.. :| However, I commend you and your boyfriend on wanting to help out, that is very nice of you two. :)

[Virginia]

Ash, are you saying, you have NEVER wanted something like that? Come on now. I know better. She probably realizes she cant possibly afford them for herself and the kids and figured why not ask...I dont really know. Guess Id like to think she is a somewhat normal 16 year old, other then having two kids already.

[bouncycat]

God, it's like when they assigned the families someone was playing a cruel joke on you. I would have taken one look at the card, said aloud "Aw, **** no" and ignored the list and bought toys for the 3 year old and baby stuff.

Personally I'd get nothing for the mother. She'll never wear that jacket you bought her. Sorry to burst your bubble.

[KrptcMschfMkr128]

V... you can ask my parents.. at 16.. I asked for stuff for the chins and used my paycheck to get them stuff and my little sisters... It always amazed me to hear people coming into school talking about how they didn't get a brand new car/game system/enter other pricey item here... I dunno, maybe my mom just raised me right.. I did fine without brand new, name brand stuff :dunno: I don't get the big deal..

[tashley]

:Pukey: This makes me sick!!! What I would do is buy some things for the little boy and things for the baby and then nothing for this girl! I feel bad for the children and it is horrible that she is taking advantage of someone elses thoughtfulness like this!!!I have an Idea of something else that you could give her to prevent a 16 year old from havng more babies but I am not gonna go there!! lol It is very kind of you to be doing this!! Good luck!

[Megan.]

I'm with Virginia. I remember being 16. You want whats neat. Whats out. At 16, she's still very much selfish. She's a child, and thinking about herself.

I do have to say, if thats what SHE wanted.. I'm not sure "non-naem brand" stuff will get much use. I remember when I was younger and Aeropostal was in(Before Holister got relaly big)..>Thats what I HAD to have. Wouldn't wear walmart stuff. It just wasnt' "cool".

I think i'd focus on the kids. My understanding is that you HAVE to get each person atleast one thing? I'd consider getting the mother nice cheap sweats... If she doesn't use them--not much money wasted. The kids, I would HOPE she'd let wear anything...that it wouldn't amtter if they are namebrand or not.

I have to ask..Where were the parents when she was getting pregnant at 13??

[jmrothermel]

Wow....just wow. Sounds like shes trying to take advantage of something nice that youre trying to do. I know if I was in a situation that I couldnt afford stuff for my children for Christmas, and my family was adopted, I would ask for necessities not things like that.

I still cant imagine being pregnant and having a baby at 13. She obviously didnt learn her lesson being pregnant with #2 :( So sad.

I would just focus on the children, who are the obvious ones in need here. They're the ones that are going to suffer in the long run.