I need to get this out...

[horsegrl1193]

Since my break up 3 weeks ago with my boyfriend of 5 months, I cant get him off my mind. I know he is a jerk for what he did to me (cheated on me at and after homecoming) but I found out a reason/excuse for everything he did to me (our best friend talked to him about it and she told me everything he said...). That whole week we were both awkward around eachother was because someone had told him that I was going to break up with him so he was trying to act different to get me to like him more, that wasnt working so he started treating me bad to get me to break up with him because he didnt want to hurt me by him breaking up with me first. He saw how much I loved him and that I would do anything to keep us together even if it ment hurting myself by stayin with him. He noticed I wasnt acting normal because I was so pissed at him from all the mean texts he sent me and was offended by him never calling like he promised. I found out he wasnt calling that whole week because he was trying to avoid me breaking up with him, and was on the phone with his cousin's best friend Taylor trying to figure out what to do to see if it was worth going through all the drama or people making up all the rumors. I found out all this through our best friend...she also mentions that he always askes about me. Asking if she saw me in the halls, if we were still friends and if I have a new boyfriend. She took his phone and was looking at his pics and he still has all the pics of me on there...she asked why he still had them on there if we were over...and he gave her a sad look and said "idunno..." and closed his phone and never deleted them. He also told her he broke up with me because "I didnt wanna play her like the other girls...". We see eachother in the halls at school but we both avoid eachother because it will be so awkward....but our friend was talking to him and asked if he wanted to say hi and he gave a sad look and said now isnt a good time....well yeahh i do...tell her to come over here. but I wouldnt...I was so mad and confused about him I knew I would start crying and be so tempted to scream at him. I still have such strong feelings for him...they havnt started to fade at all. I've recently been having dreams of me and him getting back together and things are back to the way they use to be...and then I wake up and look at my phone or myspace and realize they arnt. I cant help but cry and want him back when I see him...hes turned into such a player now though..hes changed so much! I dont even know if I can handle being friends with him...He now has a girl friend who he doesnt like and wants to break up with her because she isnt pretty enough...hes such a jerk but yet I still have feelings for him.

While we were dating he promised me he would never do drugs again and hadnt the whole 5 months we were dating. And now that we are broken up I've read comments on his myspace that makes me think hes doing them once again. I feel its all my fault because of our break up hes doing them again. I kept him from doing them because I didnt want to date a druggie and he knew if he did drugs it would end our relationship...now its all my fault hes screwing up his life because I cant be there for him to give him the advice I use to...I'm not saying he needs ME but I wish someone else would atleast love him as much as I do to keep him from doing them or atleast give him the advice I use too....

I'm so sick of crying over him...but I cant help but constantly think about him...

[KrptcMschfMkr128]

It's going to be hard, but you HAVE to get past it. Don't allow yourself to be sucked back in like he's trying to do.

[Megan.]

It's been three weeks. It will get easier with time. You do not need a druggie, cheater, liar, whatever as a boyfriend.

I don't care how good his excuses were...He should have never cheated on you in the first place. Hang in there, it gets easier--trust me.

[FurTurdMum]

oh honey, do not get sucked in by the romantic idea that you can save him from himself. if you fall into this pattern, you will be held emotionally hostage by every mistake he makes, believing somehow they are your fault. you will remain guilt-ridden and unhappy, no matter what you do, because the 5 minutes he isn't cheating on you or disappearing all night on a drug-binge you cannot seem to forget all the times you have "failed" him. AND, he will continue to blame you, because you let him. Does that sound like the rich, rewarding life you deserve?

all i can say is, break-ups are awfully painful, because as the caring, sweet person you are, you cannot help but to remember the good things about him and some of the good feelings you got from "helping" him. eventually, though, that pain will fade and your mind will clear enough for you to realize that you made the right decision for yourself by walking away from such a bad situation. i know it hurts BADLY and you love feeling needed by him, but it will get better with time.

[FurTurdMum]

sorry about posting here...i saw the topic out on the board and didn't realize it was in the teen forum! now i can't erase the post for some reason.

i'm old and i got lost on this new-fangled forum :P

[Jeanette]

Sounds like a real winner *rolls eyes*

I'm one of those no nonsense kind of girls.
I don't play the he-said-she-said games and I would have a hard time restraining my self from doing some physical harm to his face if he told me he was cheating on me.

I would be the better person... delete him from my facebook, myspace, cell phone etc. and forget he ever existed... except for those times you have to remember what a jerk he was to help you NOT get into that kind of situation again.

*hugz*

[VenusTheChin]

I had a BF who was so cool for over four years. We did everthing together. Then the popular croud came in, and you know the rest. Just forget about it. You will be better off without him, and you can't save him from himself. I learned that the hard way.

[haleybobl]

I had a BF who was so cool for over four years. We did everthing together. Then the popular croud came in, and you know the rest. Just forget about it. You will be better off without him, and you can't save him from himself. I learned that the hard way.
So you started dating a boy when you were EIGHT years old? I find it hard to believe that you have a meaningful relationship at 8 years of age. That and I wonder what type of parents would allow that.

[BabiD349]

Hey my cousin is 12 and she has been with a boy for over 2 years!!!! Iv been with mine for 6, and im just 16. I got with him when I was 11.

[tunes]

Wow - That is beyond sad, for both of you. My daughter is just now allowed to date, and she turned 16 in June. Why in God's name would you want to "date" when you are just a baby? What is the point? I have to agree with Bob on this one - why would your parents allow it?